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Of course, I wanted the trip to be as short as possible. In fact, I left
everything packed except my toothbrush when I got to the hotel in L.A. It
probably helped me feel as though the trip was more temporary.
Anyway, my interview with Mary Wagner was scheduled for ten o'clock the
following morning. I thought about calling Jamilla, but decided against it,
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and right then I knew that it was completely over between us. A sad thought,
but a true one, and I was sure that we both knew it. Whose fault was it? I
didn't know. Was it useful or important to try to place blame?Probably not,
thought Dr. Cross.
I spent the night going over the past week's reports and transcripts, which
Van Allsburg had messengered over to me. According to everything I read, the
three children Brendan, Ashley, and Adam seemed to be the only thing on
Mary's mind.
It made my direction pretty clear. If the children were all that Mary could
think about, that's where we'd begin tomorrow morning.
Chapter 104
AT 8:45 IN THE MORNING, I found myself in a different but identical-looking
room to the one where I had last interviewed Mary Wagner.
The guard escorted her in exactly on time almost to the second. I could see
right away that several days of interrogation had taken a toll.
She wouldn't look at me, and sat stoically while the officer cuffed her to
the table.
He then took a position inside the room, next to the door. Not my first
choice, but I didn't argue it. Maybe if there was a second interview, I'd try
to loosen things up.
"Good morning, Mary."
"Hello."
Her voice was neutral, a minimal show of following the rules. Still no eye
contact though. I wondered if she had served time before. And if she had, for
what?
"Let me tell you why I'm here," I said. "Mary, are you listening to me?"
No response from her. She clenched and unclenched her teeth, staring at a
single point on the wall. I sensed that shewas listening but trying not to
show it.
"You already know that there's a significant amount of evidence against you.
And I think you also know that there are still some doubts about your
children."
She finally looked up, and her eyes burned into my skull. "Then there's
nothing to talk about."
"Actually, there is."
I pulled out my pen and laid a blank piece of paper on the table. "I thought
you might like to write a letter to Brendan, Ashley, and Adam."
Chapter 105
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MARY CHANGED IN A BEAT, just the way I'd seen her do before. She looked up at
me again, her eyes and mouth noticeably softer. A familiar vulnerability
showed across her features. When she was like this, it was hard not to feel
something for Mary Wagner, no matter what she had done.
"I'm not allowed to remove your handcuffs," I said, "but you can tell me what
you'd like to say. I'll write it for you, word for word."
"Is this a trick?" she asked, and she was practically pleading for it not to
be. "This is some kind of trick, isn't it?"
I had to choose my words carefully.
"No trick. It's just a chance for you to say whatever you want to say to your
kids."
"Are the police going to read it? Will you tell me? I want to know if they
are."
Her responses fascinated me, a mix of high emotion and control.
"All of your conversations in here are recorded," I reminded her. "You don't
have to do this if you don't want to. It's up to you. Your choice, Mary."
"You came to my house."
"Yes, I did."
"I liked you."
"Mary, I like you, too."
"Are you on my side?"
"Yes. I am on your side."
"The side of justice, right?"
"I hope so, Mary."
She looked around the room, either weighing her options or searching for the
right words, I didn't know which. Then she turned back. Her eyes locked onto
the piece of paper between us.
"Dear Brendan," she said in a whisper.
"Just Brendan?"
"Yes. Please read this to your brother and sister, because you're the big boy
in the family."
I took it down verbatim, writing fast to keep up with her.
"Mommy has to be away from you for a while, but it won't be long, I
promise.Promise .
"Wherever you are now, I know they are taking good care of you. And if you
get lonely, or want to cry, that's okay, too. Crying can help let the sadness
out. Everyone does it sometimes, even Mommy, but only because I miss you so
much."
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Mary paused, and a pleased look came over her, as if she had just seen
something sweet. Her eyes were fixed on the far wall, and she had an almost
heartbreaking smile on her face.
She continued, "When we're all together again, we'll go for a picnic, your
favorite. We'll get whatever we want to eat and drive out somewhere pretty and
spend the whole day. Maybe we'll go swimming, too. Whatever you want, sweetie
pie. I'm already looking forward to it.
"And guess what? You have a guardian angel watching over you all the time.
That's me. I give you good-night kisses in your dreams when you go to sleep at
night. You don't have to be afraid because I'm right there with you. And
you're right here with me."
Mary stopped, shut her eyes, and sighed loudly.
"I love you very, very much. Love, Mommy."
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