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of her. She sniffed. Did he mean to use her fractiousness against her?
 The crew seems to have lost their dread of you, at least if Redding is any example.
 I have redeemed myself by my care of you. They seem quite reconciled.
 They must believe monsters cannot have a softer side. She was immediately sorry she had said it. She
glanced up quickly. He looked as though she had slapped him. She pushed hastily on.  I know I do. He
glowered.  Oh, don t take umbrage, Rufford, pray. My brain is too fogged to mind my mouth. And, truth
be told, choosing my words has never been my best point. Forgive me.
 Forgive you? Not necessary. Yours is not the fault for telling truth. He moved his knight out, brashly.
He did not even offer her first move.
 I did say true. I don t think that goodness coexists with evil. She moved out her pawn.
 Then your view of life is too simple by far, child. Pawn.
 Oh, are you so much wiser than I? She made a small moue and cleared her bishop.
 I have experience of evil. Evil can taint anything, anyone. He got a hard curve to his vulnerable mouth
and slapped his pawn down.  And I am most afraid it slowly consumes all that remains of good, a bite at
a time. He winced at his reference to teeth.
She laughed.  See, neither of us is safe with a subtext to everything we might say. We shall simply have
to accustom ourselves to this reality.
He looked at her strangely. There was a puzzled smile just at one corner of his mouth. You might miss it
if you weren t looking for it.
 What is more, you are not attending to your game. Her bishop took his knight.
He glanced to the board.  I will remedy that. He studied the board and moved his rook.
He did win, and in spite of her bold front, she was most happy to retire to her cabin for a nap afterward.
In the following days she gained strength more rapidly. The Captain visited her for an awkward quarter
hour after supper two days later under the watchful eyes of Rufford and hoped he might see her on deck
soon. She vowed she would attempt it the next morning.
She was most surprised when Rufford appeared at about ten, dressed in a very well-fitted black coat,
with gloves, hat, and blue spectacles in hand. He bowed when she opened the door.
 Miss Rochewell, do you take some air?
She already had on her pelisse and was just drawing on her gloves. The air was colder as they headed
north.  Why, yes. I was just about to go on deck.
He offered his arm.
 But surely you cannot go out on deck!
 I am resolved to test my limits, he said.  If I keep to the shade of the quarterdeck 
 You must not risk it! she protested.
 Already I grow less sensitive to sunlight, else I could not have essayed the inn in Gibraltar. When first I
woke to my new condition, my eyes could stand no crack of light; my skin blistered at the first ray. From
something said by& Asharti once, I think it grows more tolerable with time. Beth noted that he still
choked on her name.  Besides, how will I have a normal life if I cannot stand a stray beam of sunshine?
He held out his arm once more.
She sighed and took it. He wanted to be normal with an intensity that flamed in his eyes. The feel of his
arm beneath her hand flashed through her. She shook herself. She felt the fabric of his coat, nothing
more.
They walked through the common cabin. He opened the door, and though he flinched, he fixed his blue
glasses more securely and ventured out into the shade cast by the quarterdeck walls. His muscles
tightened as he braced himself against what must be for him intolerable glare. He staggered a bit and put
his back against the wall. His breath was ragged.
 Let us go in, she whispered.  There is no point to suffering so.
 Nonsense, he said, through gritted teeth.  Do you care to take a turn or two?
He made a fair appearance of calm as they paced out of the shade into the waist, to the forecastle wall,
and back again. Only she could feel the iron in his arm, clenched in effort. Beth noticed that all hands
looked at them kindly. Several touched their foreheads.
 Feeling more the thing, miss? the purser asked. She thought his name was Gilman. Several others
hovered to hear her answer.
 Yes, thank you, Mr. Gilman. Mr. Rufford is so kind as to support me. In truth she half-supported him.
But the sailors nodded and looked at her companion with complacence.
Mr. Gilman peered at Rufford.  You seem a bit under the weather yourself, sir.
 A little sun poisoning I acquired in the Sahara. He smiled thinly.  Nothing to speak of.
They pressed on for several turns. Beth glanced at Ruf-ford s reddening countenance. Knowing he
would never relent, she sighed audibly.  That is all I can manage for today.
His sigh of relief was.no less clear.  If you are sure& 
They made for the door to the wardroom with haste just this side of unseemly. Rufford sank into a chair,
pulled off his gloves, and removed his spectacles, breathing as though he had run a mile. He smiled
crookedly.  There, that wasn t so hard.
 Your face is reddened even by being out for so few minutes. She stepped into her cabin and came
back with a blue glass jar.  Here, slather yourself with some of this complexion cream. It will ease the
effect of the sun. If we had strawberries, it would be even better.
He took two fingers full, rubbed his hands, spread it over his face.  The burn won t last. I tried, once, to
& 
 Yes?
But he would not go on.  Trust that I know that no matter the degree of sunburn, it is not fatal. I blister
and crack, then fade. In truth, I grow paler every day. Have you not noticed?
 Well, I am sure that does not make the burn less uncomfortable. She looked at him, her natural
curiosity bubbling up again. She could not ask him about Kivala. But there were so many other things she
wanted to know.  It must be so hard to have this condition thrust upon you without knowing anything
about it.
 I would give my left arm to know how to go on, he said ruefully.  Or possibly my eyeteeth, since they
seem to be so inconvenient anyway.
 But no, you need them now. How else would you feed?
 You speak of it so matter-of-factly.
She shrugged.  For you it is like saying,  A man requires meat. She looked sharply at him.  By the by,
do you think you can make it to Brest before you need to feed again?
 The Captain says that, God willing and wind stays true, it is but another two days. The hunger has not
yet grown upon me. He flushed directly as he remembered why.
She made as if she did not notice. Indeed, something had occurred to distract her. She might be able to
help him.  I think I should like to return to my scrolls. They could shed some light upon your situation.
 I would be grateful, he said, quite humbly, and she knew he had had it in his mind for some time but [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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